Superman

It's been a while since I worked in the hematology/oncology world, but some of the kiddos I used to take care of have websites that I keep up with occasionally. Yesterday, I read that one particularly sweet boy passed away on Sunday evening. He was four when he came to my hospital for the first of two bone marrow transplants.  If you've ever set foot in the hem/onc world, you know how honestly amazing each one of these kids are. This little boy had some pretty bad side effects from the chemo, but whenever he had a shred of energy, he would race around the nurses station on his "Superman" bike...his mom and his IV pole barely keeping up. Taking care of him, it was readily apparent that not only was this a great family, it was a family who loved the Lord.

That's one thing I noticed as an oncology nurse - everyone on an oncology floor "believes" in God. But there is an almost tangible aura around those families that really KNOW God. This mom exuded faith, hope, trust, and peace, but especially on her blog was honest about her doubts and fears, all while firmly placing her trust in her sovereign Lord. Sovereign is the key word in that sentence ..yes, this mom desperately wanted her child to be healed and live a long life on this earth. But she was and is willing to trust God if He chose to heal her son in Heaven. On Monday, the morning after little Superman left this life, she wrote "To God be the glory, He has restored [our son] and made him whole again. To God be the glory, He welcomed [our son] into the kingdom of heaven last night. Though our hearts ache and we are hurting, we trust in His promise that we will see [our son] and hold him when one day we reunite."  Wow.

Honestly, I don't know how the nurses and doctors and families I worked with that don't know the Lord do it. No, pediatric oncology is definitely not always the dark dreary place that you would think it is. There is a lot of exciting research. There are a lot of smiles and giggles and Disney channel shows.  There are a lot of kids who go into remission, who go off of treatment all together, who reach the magic "5-years out" survival mark, who graduate from high school, who go to college..all really exciting things!. But there are too many kids who only hit a couple of these milestones and then relapse, or don't hit any at all.  There were days I walked out of the hospital and cried on the way home for the pain these kids and their families were going through.  No 6-year-old should ask her nurse "what type of cancer do you have?" because she was diagnosed at age 2 and for the past 4 years has grown up with cancer as her sense of "normal". No 18-year-old should have to go home for Christmas elated about the news of remission, only to be re-admitted a week later with new evidence of disease and told 3 weeks later that there are no treatment options left. No mother should have to spend 4 out of her sons 5 short months of life in the hospital.  No 2-year-old should have to be separated from her siblings for 2 months while she is hospitalized for a transplant and can't have any visitors under 12.

I honestly don't know how people can deal with this without truly knowing God and trusting that He is sovereign....even when we can't see it.  Their earthly hope is not nearly as sweet as the hope of the believing families.  As a believer, I know that death is in the world as a result of the sin entering the world way back in the Garden of Eden. Because of the fall, we live in a broken world. Cancer is part of that world. But, as a believer, I know that though not every battle fought on this earth is won, such as that of my little patient, the war was decisively won by Christ on the cross. Christ has defeated sin and death. It is not yet completely visibly evident on this earth, but Christ is restoring His creation and will one day return. On that day, no more mom's, dad's and sister's will have to say goodbye to their 6-year-old superman. On that day, all of creation will bow down and worship the Creator. On that day, all that is wrong in this world will be made right. Christ will be glorified.

Christ is what gives this grieving mother the strength to praise her God even in the midst of this horrible storm. She knows that nothing surprises her God. She doesn't understand why, but she knows that God allowed her family to go on this journey, and she trusts Him. She trusts that ultimately God will be glorified. She knows that her Savior has won the war.